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[personal profile] daylight_darknight
And now for something completely different. You thought I was busy writing Avengers and Supernatural fic, but here is something featuring two fandoms for which I've never written before. And I just realized this is also my first ever crossover which is bizarre because I really love crossovers. I should write more of them. This is just a snippet from a larger crossover which I would write if I had the time and the energy. It's more The Listener than Criminals Minds with the FBI mostly providing background for Oz and Toby banter.

The Almighty Oz
Characters: Toby, Oz, Michelle, Hotch, Rossi, Reid, Morgan, Prentiss, JJ
Rating/Warnings: PG for a very minor wound
Genre: Humor, Friendship
Word Count: 1072
Spoilers:Vague spoilers for the beginning of Season 3.
Summary: While finishing up a case with the IIB, the members of the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit are introduced to someone new.

The Almighty Oz
by Daylight

After the EMS had loaded the wounded shooter into the van, one of the paramedics from the second ambulance turned to address Hotch. “We were told there were other injuries.”

“One minor injury,” Hotch explained and nodded his head towards Mr. Logan who was talking with Prentiss, Reid, and Morgan on the other side of the room. “Over there.”

The paramedic followed his gaze. “You have got to be kidding me,” he exclaimed.

Hotch's eyebrows rose at the rather unprofessional statement and he exchanged glances with Rossi.

“Toby, Toby, Toby,” said the paramedic as he approached Logan first aid kit in tow. “What have you done to yourself now?”

Logan looked up with what was the first genuine smile Hotch had seen him give.

“I didn't do anything,” Toby insisted as the paramedic reached him. “Besides it's just a scratch.”

“Really?” the man replied disbelievingly. “Do you mind if I take a look?”

“Well, it is your job.”

“You're right it is.”

Logan removed the hand from his bleeding arm and the paramedic gazed at the deep laceration with a professional eye.

“That's a bullet wound!” he cried.

“No, it's not,” replied Toby looking away and shaking his head.

“Yes, it is.”

“No, it's not.”

“Toby, I know a bullet wound when I see one.” The whole time the man argued he expertly cleaned and bandaged the wound finishing his work before they had finished the argument.

“Okay, so maybe it was a bullet that scratched me.”

“You've been shot.”

“Just a little.”

The paramedic shook his head double checking his work on the wound. “I knew this would happen if you hung out with those FBI people.” He stopped suddenly and gazed up sheepishly at the surrounding FBI agents who had been watching the pair with amusement. “Hi,” he said awkwardly.

“Oz, I'd like you to meet Agents Prentiss, Morgan, and Reid,” Toby declared gesturing to each of them in turn. “Everybody, I'd like you to meet Osman Bey, or as we all like to call him, Oz..”

“Nice to meet you,” said Derek giving him a wide grin.

“Yeah, you too,” said Oz smiling back nervously. “Sorry about that FBI crack. It's just Toby's my best friend and I get worried when he goes running off with a bunch of people with guns especially when they're the sort who get involved in all sorts of secret plots and conspiracies and like to take people away and hide them in...”

Emily and Reid were both trying to stifle laughs as Toby placed a hand over Oz's mouth thankfully stopping the babbling.

“He means well,” said Toby.

Oz winced. “Sorry,” he said again once Toby had removed his hand.

“It's okay,” declared Prentiss still visibly amused. “We've heard worse.”

Oz gazed at Toby a question on his face. Some sort of silent communication seemed to pass between them and Toby shook his head.

“It's a good thing he did work with us,” said Morgan. “Your man Toby here is quite the hero. We owe him a lot.”

“That doesn't surprise me. Toby's got a hero complex the size of the planet. I've tried to convince him it's bad for his health but he never listens to me.”

“And you're usually so full of good advice,” Logan said jokingly.

“Well, I for one am glad he didn't listen,” said Prentiss. “If he hadn't spotted that shooter things could have ended very differently.”

“How did you spot that shooter?” asked Reid an intensely inquisitive expression on his face. “We were still quite a distance away and the angle...”

Oz was quick to interrupt. “Toby's got really good eyesight, and hearing. In fact, all his senses are fairly exceptional.”

“I just happened to be looking at the right place at the right time,” Toby explained his calm tone a contrast to Oz's rapid babble. “I guess I was lucky.”

“Except for the part where you got shot.” Shaking his head again, the paramedic began to repack his bag. “Wait 'til Liv hears about this,” he said.

Suddenly all signs of amusement vanished from Toby's face. “You can't tell her.”

Oz snorted. “Of course, I'm going to tell her. Who else is going to sew you up?”

“But I told her I'd be extra careful,” said Toby emphatically. “If she finds out I got shot, she'll kill me.”

“And she'll kill me if I let anyone else sew you up, and she definitely knows a bullet wound when she sees one.”

Toby's eyes began dancing about searching for a way out. He spotted Michelle who along with JJ had joined Hotch and Rossi beside the ambulance. “Michelle,” he called, “You need my help finishing up stuff here, right?”

Sergeant McCluskey shook her head. “Nope. We're fine here. You should go get that arm looked at.”


“Come on, partner,” said Oz taking a hold of Toby's good arm and pulling him towards the waiting ambulance.

Logan glanced back at the agents, but all they did was unhelpfully wave goodbye.

“Oz,” he pleaded.

Oz patted him reassuringly on the shoulder. “Don't worry about it. If Liv does kill you, I'll just revive you, and if that doesn't work, I promise to give you a great funeral. Which would you prefer: burial or cremation?”

“That's not funny.”

“I thought we could save money if we held the wake at my parent's restaurant.”


Keeping Toby distracted, Oz managed to get him all the way to the ambulance. “No dancing girls though,” he added as he helped Tony into the back. “That probably wouldn't be appropriate.”

Turning to look at him, Tony got out one last exasperated “Oz” before the paramedic shut the doors.

Oz dusted off his hands smiling with the satisfaction of a job well done. He turned to the others. “Don't worry, I'll take good care of him,” he declared and headed around to the front of the ambulance.

“Who the hell was that?” asked Rossi as the ambulance took off.

Michelle shrugged. “That was Oz.”

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